The Almost Kosher Configuration: A Rabbi's Guide to Emacs Enlightenment

Synopsis

Rabbi Dr. Moishe "Moe" Perlstein, PhD (Emacs), a man torn between the ancient wisdom of Talmudic law and the seductive allure of customizable text editors, finds himself facing a crisis of faith – not in God, but in the default keybindings of Emacs. When a mysterious bug threatens to corrupt the synagogue's meticulously organized digital archive (powered, naturally, by Emacs Org mode), Moe embarks on a quest to create the ultimate Emacs configuration, a "foobar mistsvah" of coding and commandment-keeping.

His journey takes him from the dimly lit corners of online Emacs communities to clandestine meetings with rogue Lisp programmers, and even a pilgrimage to the birthplace of Emacs itself, MIT. Along the way, he battles rival rabbis who prefer Vim (the "Amalekites" of the text editor world), wrestles with the ethical implications of AI-powered Halakha analysis, and confronts his own long-standing anxieties about the ever-accelerating pace of technological change.

"The Almost Kosher Configuration" is a hilarious and heartwarming exploration of faith, technology, and the enduring human need to find meaning in the most unexpected places. Through Moe's misadventures, readers will discover that sometimes, the most profound truths can be found not in ancient texts, but in the intricate, customizable depths of a well-configured Emacs buffer. And maybe, just maybe, learn a little Emacs Lisp along the way.

Table of Contents

1. Chapter 1: The Curse of C-x C-c: Rabbi Moe Perlstein, PhD (Emacs), enjoys a perfectly calibrated morning routine – prayer, Talmud study, and, of course, the meticulous organization of his digital notes in Emacs. A mysterious bug emerges, corrupting files and threatening the synagogue's archive.
2. Chapter 2: The Prophecy of the Init File: Moe consults with the synagogue’s resident computer whiz, a teenage prodigy named Shira, who diagnoses the issue: a corrupted Emacs initialization file. She speaks of a legendary "foobar mistsvah," a perfect Emacs configuration that can solve any problem.
3. Chapter 3: The Vimite Heresy: A rival rabbi, Rabbi Lipschitz, a staunch advocate of Vim, arrives to gloat over Moe's misfortune. Their long-standing rivalry escalates as they debate the merits of different text editors, invoking ancient Talmudic arguments.
4. Chapter 4: The Wisdom of the Online Elders: Moe ventures into the murky depths of online Emacs communities, seeking guidance from seasoned Lisp programmers. He encounters a cast of eccentric characters, each with their own idiosyncratic Emacs configurations and opinions.
5. Chapter 5: The Secret of the .Emacs.d: Moe discovers a hidden message within an ancient .emacs.d directory, hinting at a secret society of Emacs gurus who hold the key to the "foobar mistsvah." The message leads him to a cryptic location: MIT.
6. Chapter 6: The Pilgrimage to Cambridge: Moe travels to MIT, the birthplace of Emacs, hoping to find the secret society. He wanders through the hallowed halls of the AI lab, encountering eccentric professors and bewildered students.
7. Chapter 7: The Confessions of the Lisp Hacker: Moe finally locates a former member of the secret society, a disillusioned Lisp hacker named Ezra. Ezra reveals the history of the society and the true nature of the "foobar mistsvah": a never-ending quest for perfection.
8. Chapter 8: The Ritual of Customization: Ezra guides Moe through the complex rituals of Emacs customization, teaching him arcane Lisp commands and the importance of understanding the underlying principles of the editor.
9. Chapter 9: The Temptation of AI Halakha: Moe becomes intrigued by the possibility of using AI to analyze Jewish law, but Ezra warns him against the dangers of relying too heavily on technology in matters of faith.
10. Chapter 10: The Battle of the Keybindings: Rabbi Lipschitz challenges Moe to a keybinding duel, a public demonstration of their Emacs skills. The duel becomes a metaphor for the larger conflict between tradition and modernity.
11. Chapter 11: The Overflowing Buffer: During the keybinding duel, the synagogue's archive system crashes again, this time due to a buffer overflow error. Moe realizes that the "foobar mistsvah" is not about achieving perfection, but about embracing imperfection.
12. Chapter 12: The Almost Kosher Configuration: Moe uses his newly acquired Emacs skills to fix the buffer overflow, saving the synagogue's archive. He creates a customized Emacs configuration that is not perfect, but "almost kosher," reflecting the messy reality of life.
13. Chapter 13: The Mitzvah of Maintenance: Moe realizes that the true "foobar mistsvah" is not a one-time accomplishment, but an ongoing commitment to maintaining and improving his Emacs configuration, just as he must maintain and improve his faith.
14. Chapter 14: The Reunion of the Rabbis: Moe and Rabbi Lipschitz reconcile, realizing that their rivalry was ultimately a distraction from the common goal of serving their community. They agree to collaborate on a joint project: a website dedicated to Emacs-based Jewish resources.
15. Chapter 15: The Legacy of the Init File: Moe reflects on his journey, realizing that the true value of Emacs is not its technical capabilities, but its ability to connect people and foster a sense of community. He decides to pass on his knowledge to the next generation, starting with Shira.

The morning, as it often did in my little corner of Brooklyn, began with a battle. Not a loud, bombastic battle involving exploding bagels (though those have happened, believe you me), but a quiet, internal struggle between the sacred and the… well, the slightly less sacred, but equally demanding: Emacs.

It was 6:00 AM, precisely. My internal clock, calibrated more accurately than the atomic clocks at NIST (or so I liked to imagine), yanked me from the clutches of sleep. First, Mode-line be praised, Netilat Yadayim – the ritual washing of hands. One must approach the digital world with clean intentions, after all. Then, Shacharit, morning prayers. I find the rhythmic chanting, the ancient Hebrew words, surprisingly compatible with the click-clack symphony of my mechanical keyboard. Some rabbis scoff at the notion of integrating technology into prayer, but I say, nu, isn’t the digital world just another manifestation of God's creation, albeit one slightly more prone to buffer overflows?